Because, time shows us what we deserve...

Being a travel freak, I have seen places and learnt things that can never be forgotten. Adventures don’t tire me, though I look a bit freaked out in terms of health. Those who follow my instagram and facebook pages call me instantly when I post my picture, to enquire how bad my illness is. So I tell them, I am healthier than anyone they know. Anyway, I am glad that they are concerned. But then, not everyone who checks with you is sincere. Sometimes people just want to confirm that you aren’t doing well enough in life. And I have learnt to face them as well. I have had friends who turned out into enemies. Not many get to see the other way round, but I have met ‘enemies’ who have turned out into friends. The plural form is an exaggeration, though. So, that basically sums up the current phase of my life.

If it was some three or four days before, I wouldn’t have been able to write this. I wouldn’t even have this laptop to sit down and type this out. Not a penny did I save from all these months of travelling. But the amount that slipped out of my hand knows no bounds. Those who have benefitted from me are the ones I talked about earlier who have the ability to turn into strangers and enemies and so on. Things change so quickly. Last year this time, I was enjoying like hell, back home. Then I set out on a journey that changed my perception of life. I was enroute to the Himalayas. I visited many a hill stations in the mountain circle, as I am so fond of cold and fog and heights and all that. I had been with some Budhist monks, helping them out with some things in Shimla. Then I got a call from my long term school friend, who wanted me to help him financially and urgently. Yes, I did it. Then, one of my cousins asked me for a favour which didn’t comprise monetary elements and I, most certainly did it. Then, some days later, one of my friends requested me to donate some amount for a cause he was undertaking and I did that as well. That was when I found out that I no longer possessed much amount as liquid cash.


Unfortunately, the next day, I was supposed to contribute a small amount for a good cause to a nearby school. And I couldn’t afford to push it later. Thus, I had to arrange some money from someone I knew in Shimla. It didn’t end there. Banks began issuing warnings about pending loan payments. Soon, I found myself penniless with a lot of bank documents surrounding me. I was lost. Broken. And scared. If it could happen, I would be standing naked in the face of Bankruptcy and other issues. Even worse, I wouldn’t be able to go back home as well. “But why should I fear, when I have so many friends?” I told myself. Then, I dialled many numbers consecutively. No one bothered to even listen to what I wanted to say. They were playing tricks on me. And I was vulnerable too. And thus, I sat down, more frightened than ever. Because, I had many more contributions to make which I had promised. I realised I had both been fooled and betrayed by the ones I loved the most. If I hadn’t been as brave as I really am, I would have been found hanging over the ceiling of the small room I was in. That was how I felt at that point of time. And as I was sitting on a chair in the room, with my eyes running through the many letters I had received from different banks, something was surprisingly, staring at me. I picked it up with trembling hands. A small envelope that opened its way to a cheque registered in my name. It meant a huge amount of money, against my name. I couldn’t digest the fact that I just needed to sign in it and go to a bank to get the amount I wanted. It was a lot more, I would say. And a letter hid under it. I opened it. It said that my name had been attached to the royalty rights of a best seller written by an author named SK Shreya. I was startled, unable to comprehend what was happening. Some moments before, I was a poor fellow who was on the verge of bankruptcy and now, I am going to inherit a lot of money. Life is just mysterious, right? Oh, yeah..and the name! She is one of my childhood friends.


Along the corridors of my mind palace and through the memory lane, she walked down, with that cute smile fixed on her face. The way I looked at her during school days, I regretted it later. She always fought with me for some reason or the other. We didn’t know each other well. That was the main problem. But she was someone, who I could call as a real ‘crush’ of my school days. And it is not as if I let go of everything. I waited for the right time, first to become friends with her and then to propose my love. Yeah.. that’s the biggest secret that I have ever had. So, I waited until we passed out of school…and, unfortunately, till my best friend fell in love with her. But, it never occurred to me that she would fall in love with him too. But that was how it turned out to be. And I couldn’t help but support them for about the next three years. But I couldn’t calm my heart. It badly needed some impetus. Hence, I joined the same school as hers for higher secondary classes. Now at least I could see her everyday. Somehow, we became good friends there. And I never let my feelings grow. That was the first time I gave up my wishes, just for the sake of others, and there were many to follow.


After three years, however, they broke up. I never laughed out , by the way. But I had no other option but to support my friend, morally. That included giving him a boost by abusing her in front of him. But, yeah, I did. She cried over phone but I didn’t stop it. I was apologising inside, though. The following year, I messed up my life a little more. I couldn’t get into a course that either I liked or my parents liked. Instead, I did my degree course in something I never thought I would do, only to end up as a Probationary officer in a prominent bank in my hometown. So the first thing I did since my friend’s break up was hate her. I tried to hate her like hell. But not much later did I realise that she was there to help me out even when she knew that I hated her. She is always a girl of words. Her words have always powered my inner spirit. The more I talked to her, the more I fell in love with her. She came to the rescue on many occasions when I thought I would give up. She helped me fuel my dreams again. She became one of my best friends. I also returned the favours whenever I could.


It was her words that made me realise how much I was missing out by living for others. That was when I decided to save money from work and go on exploring the world outside my home. Ever since I knew her, she has always ridiculed me for my failures, and that is also how I became successful as well. I wanted to show her what I was capable of. I wanted to shut her mouth. I wanted to stand above her. But I never really thanked her for all this. Later, I learnt that she had an unsuccessful married life. It hurt me especially knowing that I could have given her a life she deserved. But my friend was really happy and in one occasion, I had to sound harsh in order to tell him not to be mean to others.

One day, some years back, as part of a casual conversation, we just discussed how well we would gel as a couple. We were just kidding, by the way. She had said, “Nived, you can travel around the world and I wouldn’t disturb you. I’d just sit in the corner of a room and read or write.” “That sounds pretty good. But you’ll have to bear your own expenses.” I replied. “Oh..then, I’ll write a best-selling novel and attach its copy rights to your name.” I laughed at her when she said that. ”But I wish you loved me.” That sincere response from her made me see I missed out on a gem like her too. Now, years have passed. She is an accomplished writer and I am a travel freak. But we aren’t together. That is fate.

Now, as I was reminiscing all those that happened over the past years, I noticed a small card that was tagged to the letter, which said, “For, once, I promised you..” That brought tears to my eyes. I knew she had become a popular writer after breaking out of marriage. But I never knew that she had closely watched me struggle and would help me when I needed it the most. Now, none of my so called best friends pick up my phone calls, for fear of losing money. But as I was sitting there, wetting the letter with my tears, I finally understood, what or rather, who I really deserved in my life. It is not too late, is it ?